1. Nobody hangs out anymore in packs.
In your teens and twenties people would just get together everyday to hang out, even if they weren’t doing anything but sitting around watching tv. Day after day people would just hang. It lead to some fun times and crazy creative things.
In your thirties you have to plan get togethers and even then you have to pull people’s legs to get them to commit to anything. As well as work around various schedules.
2. Everyone becomes so conservative.
Even your “liberal” left wing so called “progressive” friends become sticks in the mud when you talk about sex or doing something crazy. You know they understand and used to talk about it or do it all the time but it’s as if they suddenly are “playing” grown up and stick their noses up about such things because they desperately don’t want to look immature. Meanwhile you’re thinking to yourself “I’ve known you for over 15 years, who are you trying to fool?”
3. No one, including yourself, has any energy anymore.
You mean well, but you just can’t make it past that 4th beer or past midnight at the bar for your friends birthday becuase you’re not used to staying up that late anymore.
4. Your Facebook feed becomes a constant stream of baby photos and political debates.
You wonder where all the angsty teenage/early twenty something drama went and you long for it again. You miss it.
5. Relationships become requirements
If you’re not married or in a long term relationship, people start to wonder what is wrong with you and if you fuck up relationships on purpose. Forget about meeting new people at parties, everyone is already married or with someone. On top of that you’re too old for the suburban bar/club scene and it doesn’t matter anyway because all the attractive guys and girls who would make for good life partners and marriage material aren’t there anyway. They are at home with their significant others, probably planning their wedding and browsing a wedding dress site such as this one or buying their first house together and/or starting a family.
6. Kinky encounters don’t happen.
Forget about that threesome fantasy or that bedding a hot 19 year old girl fantasy because you’re too old now. Threesomes happen when groups of young teenage/twenty something friends are hanging out all the time getting drunk and stupid and wild. By your thirties you’re too old, fat and tired to attract the young sexy people and your group of friends are either married with kids or act too conservative and “past that phase” to ever even entertain such an idea. Don’t even bring it up to them in jest because you’ll get labeled a creep no matter if you’re a guy or a girl.
7. You slowly but surely begin to realize that all of this is your new life and it’s not going to get better, only worse as the decades move on.
You’ll never be able to go back to your teens or twenties again. You’ll never be young, sexy, capable of partying all night or be able to fall back on your parents when times get tough. You can no longer get away with dressing crazy and experimental, you cant run around places for free anymore without getting smacked with trespassing or getting sued. If you want to shoot a movie or photos or do anything creative involving more than just yourself, other people expect you to pay them for their time. You can’t lose your decent job in an economic downturn and expect to get a crappy temporary job that pays minimum wage because your age automatically “overqualifies” you.
So enjoy your teens and twenties while you can. Enjoy all your petty little drama and your “love life” issues, because when you hit your thirties, you’re going to miss all of it. Unless you’re one of the lucky ones who is married with kids and then you still miss it because you feel trapped in your situation. You’re with the person you are with and in the situation you are in partly because you love them, partly because you want the kid(s) to have two parents, partly because you know there isn’t anyone better anymore and partly because you just don’t have the energy to change things and start over. You understand that the person you’re with probably feels the same way and you accept that they accept that, just as you do.
But even if you could go back, you wouldn’t. Because you aren’t the same person anymore. Even if you had the energy, youth, sex appeal and time, you’ve already been there. You’ve grown past most of it and you can’t even fathom how you would get it back in any new and menaingful kind of way. You understand too much about the way both people and the world work now. You’re too tainted and desensitized by it all to return to that bliss and uncertainty of your younger years.
Plus there is a certain sense of stability that begins to blossom in your 30’s. A stability you once relied on your parents for but you now create for yourself and possibly your kids if you have any. So as much as you bitch and moan about all of the above, you wouldn’t trade it for your younger years if you could. But every so often you do wish you could get some of those things back in little bite sized pieces to enjoy for just an evening or a day.
Gosh you and your threesomes, I have to figure out some way to throw some tips at you. A lot of the guys who have joined us in threesomes have been in their 30s, some girls too. Where do you live again? I swear it must be a dead zone of sexiness. Actually maybe you should just move to Portland. This is not too far off base. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZt-pOc3moc
The energy one I’m realizing at only 23. The other night a friend bailed on me and so I was in my pajamas at 9:30PM realizing that I would have only JUST gotten to the bar. I told J that I preferred staying at home most nights and being cozy. He’s turning 28 this year and is similarly minded. I hope my energy levels don’t continue to decrease, they don’t have very far to go :P
@lorelei – lol I live in metro Detroit. I think the threesome thing specifically is a strange thing. My girlfriend and I attract different kinds of people. The people who like me think she’s trashy. The people who like her think I’m snobby and/or creepy.
My friends are more wine tasting and dinner party types who like to debate about politics, her friends are more hard rock and motorcycles who like to start drama with each other.
So I think our big problem is that we have a hard time finding people who jive well with both of us. We’ve had prospects inthe past, but every time they’ve either liked her and not me or they’ve made some excuse about how they don’t want to come between us and break us up.
But the other problem is just meeting people in general. It becomes harder the older you get. The internet is full of flakes who just want to tease and in real life if you ask people if they are into it, they look at you all crazy like you’re some kind of pervert. The women you do want to attract are probably already hooked up with someone. Detroit has a high obesity rate, so any female that looks halfway decent is already snatched up.
No offense, but you don’t have a problem getting people because you’re 23, have a great body and actively seek it out. It’s a little harder when you’re in your early to mid thirties and out of shape.
But this post wasn’t specifically about threesomes. It’s about 30’s in general and a lot of the negative things that come about with.
Sigh, stuff to look forward to yay…heh.