Why do men cheat?

Failure of character maybe?

I just find it funny that women even ask this question. Shouldn’t it be obvious that women make themselves up to look like candy sex objects. All glossy and tight and curvy and smooth, smelling and looking nice. All done up. Making themselves look like treats before our eyes. Even when they are barely trying. 

Then they have the audacity to ask “why do men want to lick so many lollipops?”
If you’re in a candy store filled with goodies of all shapes and sizes, all colors and flavors, do you want to try only one? Do you want to spend the rest of your life eating only caramel?

It’s really not difficult to understand where the temptation lies. Not difficult at all.
But unlike a candy store where one piece of candy doesn’t get jealous and upset when you put your tongue on another, people do. Most guys realize this and refrain from cheating. Character. Standards. Yes. But it can be very difficult for a guy. Almost unnaturally difficult. 

We may love you for you. We may love you for you very much. But our sex drive is primal and spurred by our desire to touch and taste and conquer. This primal drive could certainly get the best of many men.

But what I find very interesting is how many women cheat. So even though they ask the question of men, there seems to be many of them that do it as well. I’ll tell you that in my personal life alone, of all the women I have been friends with (just friends) and all the men I have been friends with, most of the guys have never cheated, but at least half of the women have. That is by no means a solid representation of the whole of society. But as a statistic in my personal life, it makes me wonder why women even ask why men cheat when obviously they’re just as guilty if not moreso. 

A man may cheat as a sense of accomplishment and lust. It’s not easy for a man to cheat. For a women to cheat she must simply bend and tell a man, any man where to put it. Seven times out of ten he probably will. For a man to decide to go out and cheat is hard, it doesn’t just fall in his lap. He can’t just go to the bar one night and come home with a girl. He has to 1. find a girl who is only looking for sex and 2. find a way for her to want him. Neither of which is easy. Believe me, it was hard enough when I was single. I don’t dare try it when in a relationship.For more reasons then the fact that it’s hard.

But it goes to show that if a women wants to cheat she easily can. So when they do, they do.

Now maybe my point of view on that is skewed. I’m sure there are guys who get to go home with girls almost every night they go out. But I’ve never met one and I’m certainly not one myself. It would take me months and months before even finding a girl who would kiss me. I’ve never had a one night stand. I’ve never had a girl knowingly want to get with me even when I had a girlfriend. So I’ve personally never been tempted. So considering how rare it is for guys and how primal we are when it comes to sex, I’m really not sure I can question a guys character who cheats. Sure I can tell him it’s wrong, but I’m not sure I can call him a bad guy. He is a guy. 
 

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0 thoughts on “Why do men cheat?

  1. Very well put. Women really are no different than men when it comes to sex, they just like to act like it is. They get just as horny and just as desirous of a boy toy. Some act on it and some don’t. They do have an easier time finding sex, but not necessarily a good man. Personally, I have always been cautious about the women that I have sex with. Far reaching implications, you know? I am surprised that you say you have such a long time finding a girl that wants you. You are a hell of a lot better looking than I am, and I always find someone to be with whenever I go into a bar – male or female – but not necessarily for sex. (I don’t count making out as sex.) One night stands? Yeah, I’ve had them, but they are not good. Back to those implications.

  2. You’re right, it’s not entirely character.  Sure there are some guys that just can’t keep it in their pants and there are those guys that are completely content with caramel the rest of their lives.

    But when women put themselves out there because they want it and want it NOW, it makes it all the more difficult for guys to resist no matter how good natured they are.  It takes a LOT of willpower to walk away when someone is telling you that they want you and you enjoy that feeling of being wanted.

    That goes a long way to why men stray or cheat in relationships.  Another woman will easily slip in under the radar and show your man that she wants him more than you.  I don’t want to sound like a typical male, but ladies need to make sure that their man KNOWS how much he’s appreciated, loved and desired.  A good player will easily breakdown those moral boundries to prove that he’s not really loved like she could love him.  Defend what you’ve got properly.

  3. I think you just don’t know how many girls  have liked you or wanted to kiss you! I guarantee there have been some. A lot of girls like a several  guys and keep their eye on them quietly ,just watching and waiting to see what he does. I think every guy who is around women (friends,at church,work,school) is liked by one of them somewhere…if he is breathing…he is up for grabs.

  4. 1. Men and women cheat because the want to have status as “players” and feel that they can get away with anything.

    2. Many times they don’t get what they want at home; but the rest of the time is just a game and the trophies they acquire while playing it.

    3. Insecurities. They feel the need to be loved by as many people as possible to feel wanted.

  5. I have only cheated once in my life but it was a biggie considering I was married at the time. I have always been a relationship type of girl, so it was way out of character for me. My marriage was not bad and he was a decent guy…he just was not a strong guy. I am a very tough girl. I was raised by a single dad. I have had boyfriends break down and cry before I did. So, anyways, my said dad that raised me as a single parent had a massive heart attack out of the blue. He was given a 25% chance of survival. I nearly cracked…but I certainly didn’t let anyone see it. I was always the strong one. It was the first time in my life that I needed someone stronger than myself and the only person I knew that was that strong was my dad and he was dying. My husband was useless. It was like i suddenly woke up and realized he was not the kind of guy I needed. I didn’t look to cheat but one random day, a guy asked me out, a guy’s guy, a manly prick really. I jumped. My marriage ended in divorce. I broke up with the prick a few months after that. I have never cheated before or since. I am now in a 3 year relationship with the right guy and would never dream of cheating again. Not all girls, but a lot of girls act out sexually when they are emotionally damaged. Some are just player girls or horny but some have bigger issues than that. I have known some “slutty” girls that were really just very sad. 

  6. @SoMuch_4_theAfterglow – Well, that’s how it goes sometimes. I guess my biggest question would be, if you discovered that about your husband, then why didn’t you break it off before cheating? Obviously you had your reasons then.

    So I take it you’re not the type that believes the mantra “once a cheater, always a cheater?” :)

  7. (thank crystal_air for this)

    replace guy with girl in this post [shrug] the reasons are the same…just different reasons and stigmas are applied  (the whole “he’s a stallion and she’s a whore”)

    as for “once a cheater, always a cheater”…if you do something once, it’s a whole lot easier to do it again; i think it’s a matter of not getting caught in the pattern.

    personally, i’d forgive cheating before i’d forgive lying. they don’t always go hand in hand..

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