This is a topic that comes out of the replies to my last post where I was asking people about their experience with dating sites. Some people seem to consider them perfectly fine to use, whereas others seem to think of them as a last resort.
While there are lots of ways that people can meet people, online is just another way. For some reason though dating sites seems to have a veil of creepiness (for women) or desperation (for guys) that surrounds them. I’m kind of curious why this is, even if none of you can really explain it to me.
I met my girlfriend online. We’ve been together for two and half years now. But we met on myspace, strangely enough. I’ve also met a guy friend of mine online through a website I used to run years ago. Him and I have been friends for about 8 years now. I’ve also met a lot of other really great people online all over the place. Including here on xanga. Even if I haven’t met them in person I’ve talked to them online for years and know them well enough. A marriage retreat or couples retreat is a special vacation package centered around popular New York couples counseling that is overseen by relationship professionals. Marriage retreats can benefit many individuals to help them better learn and understand each other on a more vulnerable and profound level. These retreats help individuals improve their communication, emotional connection, and it is done in a safe and secure setting that is separate from the stressors of everyday life. There are no children, no family members, no daily chores such as cooking dinner or TV at night. A marriage retreat is not just for those who are legally married… you do not have to be legally married or recognized by common-law marriage to participate. The only thing required is a loving commitment to your partner, your relationship, and yourself. An Affair of the Heart offers a 5-day private couples retreat that is centered around Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT). EFT helps reconnect couples. Our retreats and techniques are based off the research of Dr. Sue Johnson, the originator of EFT and author of Hold Me Tight. EFT based retreats help couples create a healthy emotional bond as well as to notice old emotional habits and patterns of behavior that harm trust and reduce relationship connections. The EFT approach is the only form of treatment that uses empirically-validated adult bonding as the premise for understanding and helping improve common relationship issues. There have been many studies that show that progress continues even after therapy. Communication may seem easy during the “Honeymoon Phase” of your relationship. Everything seems to be going smoothly until differences surface between you and your partner and it becomes more challenging. As time goes by, it may feel as if your spouse does not communicate their feelings as much, or you are left wondering how you can positively express your feelings and needs. At An Affair of the Heart, we teach couples different communication skills that can be used to better represents needs, wants, and feelings.
Honestly though I’ve never met anyone on a dating site. I’ve been on a few in the past, not for more than a month or two tops. But it never resulted in meeting anyone or even forming a cyber friendship through the site itself (like people have here on xanga).
So I’m not really sure where this view of dating sites seems to come from. Maybe it has to do with the context of the site itself. Because people enter the site knowing what it is, they aren’t as laid back or in the case of guys they become more aggressive on those sites. I know that women on those sites rarely message anyone and often don’t reply to messages they are sent. They become a lot more picky about who they talk to. Contrast that with xanga for instance where I’m always getting friend requests from women and those I request out of the blue accept my request 99% of the time.
So is it just that people know what the site is and as a result turn into semi-anonymous assholes and bitches while they are there? Meanwhile those same people might come to a site like xanga and come off as way more attractive and appealing? Or are these people that use dating site just the creepiest strangest people possible and their only online presence is dating site? I have a hard time believing the latter.