Why are Christians so uptight about sex CQ#6

In my continuing series of honest questions to Christians, I present you with question number six.

Why are Christians so uptight about sex and pornography?

This turns me off most about Christians. More then anything else. This uptight holier then thou attitude about sex.
Why would God, the creator of the universe, all space and time, the cosmos, black holes, quasars and all plants and animals really care who you are sleeping with and when? Or whether for that matter you are looking at nude pictures of other people.

It simply makes no sense to me at all. It does not sound like truth to me.

Statements like this…
…appear to me to come from a person who is insecure about themselves and looking to control other peoples actions.

Usually these kind of statements come from women who believe that their man should desire no one but them. Once more because they are insecure with themselves. So they turn it into a wicked thing that most men are automatically by nature guilty of. I tell you this, if it is a sin, Lord, give me my sin.

This is one of the core reasons I am a Deist and not a Christian. I don’t believe. I cannot believe in good conscious that such a powerful and loving God would strike such anger with something so natural as sex.

My son Gabriel was born out of wedlock. He is a good kid, loving and smart. I did not want to marry his mother but in fact we eventually did get married and then divorced. A horrible mistake for us to get married but having Gabriel was not a mistake. This to me is high truth. He would not have been born if my lust and my booty calls with his mother did not exist. Is God going to punish me for bringing such a good child into this world?

0 thoughts on “Why are Christians so uptight about sex CQ#6

  1. I, even though I am a Christian, don’t believe God “punishes” people. Our punishment is the direct consequences of our actions, and sometimes those are negative and sometimes those are positive.
    I am a “consequence” of my parents decisions while they were in college, they could either take that as a punishment or a gift. It all depends on how you look at it I guess.

    That’s just my one cents worth (someone asked a penny for my thoughts earlier so that’s all I had left. :P )

  2. I am el Atheisto..
    I don’t care for porn.. mostly because it is boring.. and super bad dialogue heh

    but then again i have zero problems with people who do enjoy it.

  3. It beseeches me as well.  Funny thing is, I used to believe in it even though I had “problems” of my own with porn and sexuality in general, and eventually, I came to terms with the fact that I was being a hypocrite.  When I was Christian, I would deny my lifestyle and my desires for the sake of Christianity alone, but deep down I wanted nothing more than to be at one with those desires instead of constantly being at war with them.  Because of that and also some other things (like the concept of Hell…  that was a big one), I strongly reconsidered my faith and ended up coming out Agnostic.  In terms of belief, I’ve never been happier.  With Christianity, I was completely miserable, living in fear and guilt at all hours of the day…  But now I feel more free, and with that freedom comes much more happiness than before.

  4. @Undercover_Librarian – I know you are. I hope me asking these questions helps more then myself. I’m not against Christianity. I guess I’m just hoping to see a better outlook on the religion blossom from these questions and answers.

    I know bullshit when I see it. I think so far I’ve gotten a lot of really good honest answers from some Christians through these Q&A’s. I’ve definitely gained a certain level of respect for them and some of their beliefs. But what I’ve been noticing is that many of the things they are telling me are things I already believe. Things that aren’t necessarily related to Christianity alone. Things I would ascribe to a higher level of truth.

  5. I don’t think that sex in and of itself is “bad.” God created sex, after all. However, sex deserves to be, at least in my opinion, something more sacred than a bad porno or a one night stand. Sex can lead to one of the greatest miracles we as humans can create: another completely whole, new individual. Sex is also one of the most profound moments in people’s lives. To cheapen that, to make it an everyday, ordinary thing, one to crack jokes about and sell in magazines and present as animalistic pleasure whenever we damn well please seems horrible to me.

    Also, sex, like other things that get the pleasure centers of our brains going, such as chocolate or the nicotine from a cigarette, can be addictive. Then you no longer have the pleasure of choosing to want it. Instead you have no choice but to want it, and the wanting it doesn’t go away for long afterwards. The thing that used to be pleasureable ends up causing more hurt than joy. Good things like sex become evil when they control people. *shrug*

    There’s a really good book called Sex God that has a lot of these interesting ideas. I forget who wrote it though. :(

  6. @Primordeal – I agree with the second part of your comment, that is truth you speak. But I don’t agree with the first part. I think sex in and of itself stands on its own. It doesn’t have to always be one thing (sacred). It can be whatever it is at the time that it is. I don’t think it’s so black and white. So many things in this world are not black and white, why should sex be any different?

  7. Ah, that’s why the first paragraph is full of phrases like “in my opinion.” ;) To me that is what it appears to be. What does it appear to be to you?

  8. Haha, I know some Christians that are freakin craving for sex. Real kinky and horny. Not all but some. Haha. Sorry, the whole idea of christians and uptight about sex is just funny. I wonder why too.

  9. I call myself a christian but I do agree that the sex stuff is pointless. I do find it best that I do wait for right person to come into my life until then it’s porn & masturbation. I don’t agree that porn is bad. Addictive, maybe but not at all bad. It just helps get you cure the sexual urges that God has created within you. It’s true.

  10. I’m not a Christian, but I often feel revolted by sex, simply disgusted. What is it, when you really think about it?

    Sex is semen, saliva, and sweat. Sex is moaning, awkward apologizing, and cheap come-ons. All your insecurities come rushing out and you see people for what they really are: vain, horny little rabbits more desperate to impress themselves than the person they’re fucking. It’s nothing pure, nothing beautiful. Mixed in with all the vaunted “passion” is the the desire to rip, thrust, and hurt. A woman pulls her nails against a man’s back ’til it bleeds, and a man fucks a woman against her cervix, bringing her to cry out…and what?

    They. Do. Not. Care. Lots of us even LOVE it.

    I hate the fact that nature and evolution make me have this instinct. I hate how people glorify something that’s essentially bestial, crude, and senseless. Sex reveals just how hollow the human conceit of being something more than an animal actually is. S&M? That’s just a way for people to act out their deepest fears, to strike back at all the guilt laid into their hearts by society since the day they were born. It’s pathetic, sad, and alluring all at the same time.

    Truly, I wish sex didn’t exist. It’d be nice to live in a world without rape, where people loved each other for who they were…and not just what they want below the belt.

  11. I’m a Christian, and sex confuses me. I agree with nearly everything you said. Sex is so varied, so innate, it’s hard to pin it down to apply rules to it, much less discuss it coherently. Sex is everything to all people. I think that’s why the Bible doesn’t really have much to say about sex in terms of sexual rules.

    The only ones I can recall is Jesus saying that if a man lusts after a woman (and I would interpret “lusting” to be more than a passing appraisal but an intense envy/obsession), he has done her an injustice. Which I believe there is a lot of wisdom to, and rock on Jesus for telling men to see women as more than sexual objects. Men seeing women as little more than sexual objects is the number one cause of the patriarchy. It’s disgusting to me. Most men can’t compartmentalize their sexual fantasies and how they treat women in the day-to-day, and that’s when you have a problem.

    Also there are some verses in Timothy about staying away from such lusts. Just more of the same. And that’s all of the Bible verses that I can recall that forbid sex in any way.

  12. Children born out of wedlock are an excellent example of the fact that God can bless people even in their mistakes.

    I had a rather active sex life for a year or so while I was unmarried.  I also had a rather active porn life for several of my highschool years.  There was, for a time, a belief in me that these things were not inherently wrong, and that we were reading too much into the Biblical accounts.  After all, marriage WAS sex back in the day- if you wanted to bring pretty lady home as your wife, you took her home, had freaky sex, then introduced her to the family the next day, and arranged to have some parting gifts sent to her parents.  My perspective on this particular issue has changed quite a bit.

    Porn is bad for you.  After 18 college credits in Psych, and not all of those from a “Christian” perspective (Christian psychology is often a lot like Theistic Evolution, we put the God label on it, and then do everything the same way as the nonChristians…), I can say with some certainty that a casual porn habit is like a casual smoking habit.  Some people can get away with it, many more end up addicted.  Porn addiction can escalate to a point where the addict is unable to engage in sexual activity with a real person.  It’s some pretty twisted stuff.

    Premarital Sex is generally bad for you.  Those who engage in premarital sexual intercourse in high school are more likely to have multiple sexual partners than those who do not.  The more sexual partners you have, the higher your risk of diseas- and condoms don’t stop everything.  The more sexual intercourse you have, the higher your risk of pregnancy- condoms are 99.9% effective, which means one in a thousand properly used condoms fail.  Some folks get lucky and have sex several thousand times without getting that one.  Others get very unlucky and get the “one” their first time.  Generally speaking, it is difficult to have emotional detachment from the first few sexual partners you have.  Although such a detachment can be developed through experience, it is not inherent to most humans. 

    Extramarital sex is universally a bad thing.  I don’t think anyone here needs an explanation as to why having an affair is a bad idea.

    Ditto for incest.

    Homsexual intercourse… well, I’ll leave that judgment up to others, but you’ll notice that the God of the Old Testament was particularly interested in His followers reproducing (Check out Malachi 2:15-16 for an OT perspective on the reason for marriage) and homosexuality doesn’t really lend itself to reproduction all that well.

    Notice I’ve only used one Bible verse in this entire post, and it was as an aside, not needed to make my points.  Excluding homosexuality for now, I think the Biblical admonitions against certain forms of sex and sexual behavior demonstrates God’s concern for mankind, and very well could be compared to the dietary restrictions in Scripture.  Esentially, God cares for us, doesn’t want to see us in pain (physical or emotional), doesn’t want us to be diseased, and doesn’t want us causing pain to others.  Much of the Mosaic law, when read in the context of a God who is seeking to reconcile His people to Him, can be understood as a way to undo some of the effects of the Fall.  Man’s rebellion brought about death, sin, and sickness in the world (I’ll let others debate whether these things are literal or figurative).  The law showed men how they could avoid some of this curse.  The Atonement showed men how to be saved from this curse.  The glorification will permanently separate men from the curse.

    God loves you, He doesn’t want to see you get hurt or be in pain.  He made sex both pleasurable and useful, and even attached a certain measure of de facto intimacy to the action.  If you misuse the gift, it can cause serious damage to your life.  If you use it right, it can be the best thing this side of Heaven.

  13. Wow, these responses are… interesting to say the least!

    But seriously, the whole sex thing is the one BIG problem I have with Christianity.  The other problems I have are with individual Christians, and not necessarily the religion itself, but this is The Biggie…

    A one-night stand can be beautiful and sacred, too, and on the flip-side, sex with your spouse might not be all the time. 

    As Christianity starts coming into the modern era, we’re starting to find that more and more groups are embracing sex instead of abhoring it.  Though there are some very, very stubborn and vocal hold-outs out there :)

  14. the fact is that God created sex. he thinks it is good and wonderful and perfect and he doesn’t want us to hold it back, or not engage in it, etc. he WANTS it for us! but there is a HUGE difference in loving intimate sex between two people in love and married for life and just….lust. this is what porn is based on….when do you see porn where it looks like the people are really in love? rarely. i mean its usually along the lines of picking someone up somewhere. you have sex. you don’t care about the person and you never speak to them again. this isn’t the model for what sex was created for. i agree that some christians are too uptight about sex specifically the fact that we SHOULD be open and talk about sex and these issues. we should act like they aren’t there. and we should be more honest and less “afraid” of the issue of sex or lust or pretty much ANYTHING else. as far as the part about your child. maybe God didn’t agree with your situation with his mother. i’m not sure. that is between you and him. but God doesn’t just let bad or less than good in his eyes sorts of things go by and just never have anything come from it. the “bad” things in our lifes, God takes and makes good out of them (your son). that was God’s way (in my opinion) of taking a situation where someone does something he may not agree with but he takes that situation and shows his glory, and gives a gift, and makes that “bad” situation, into a GOOD situation. and as far as….”Is God going to punish me for bringing such a good child into this world?” of COURSE NOT! after all, God created that child. he knew what he was doing.

  15. I actually have a blog entry I plan to write regarding the beauty of sex and God’s design for it. I have a lot to learn about the wonders of marriage (particularly because I’m not yet married), but for now, if you don’t mind taking my word for it, trust me when I say that God is not uptight about sex. He simply has a specific and GOOD purpose for it and expects us to uphold that purpose and to not use it outside of that design. (It’s like using a hammer for something OTHER than nails…something’s going to get damaged that wasn’t meant to be hit by a hammer.)

    It’s also true that many Christians are uptight about sex. I think they may have the right idea – to keep sex sacred and to not treat it as something common and disposable – but in the process, they also miss the beauty of sex. Believe it or not, God’s design for sex between a husband and wife is actually a reflection of God’s own character. I know that may be hard to comprehend, but when I get around to writing my blog about sex, I’ll describe it in…well…detail. LOL

    @Xx_Kittt_xX – AGREED! :)

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