So I’ve been all into studying evolutionary psychology lately and some of it’s different points of view. My mind is like a sponge soaking it all in. I’m convinced now that it really could lead to an overall better understanding of why we humans do what we do. So I’ve decided to take a stab at explaining some of it here. Understand that these ARN’T really my opinions or points of view. I’m just taking a slice of some things and showing it here in a fashion molded to this particular subject. Writing it in my own words.
Understanding men and women and their primary motives:
Girls always say guys think with their dicks. They’re not wrong. They’re only wrong in assuming that somehow that is inferior to the way that they themselves as women think. But to understand why guys think this way, you also have to understand a mans motivation. Human beings haven’t changed greatly in the last 10,000 years. Our society, our library of knowledge and our standard have evolved, but our brains haven’t changed all that much. Evolution takes a long time, so any changes are gradual and take many generations and environmental changes. What this means is that although we may understand high concepts, we don’t understand and accept them fully and completely. Our bodies (including our brains) are still programmed for life as hunters and gatherers. Which is how we existed for hundreds of thousands of years.
It’s only been in the last 10,000 years or so that we’ve really started to change. We discovered farming and reading and writing and our technology evolved. Over time our social standards and concepts about how we should live have also evolved and continue to evolve.
It’s important we understand this. Because it helps us understand our motivation and why people react certain ways to certain things. So lets take a step back in time and look at humanity 10,000+ years ago.
We used to live in a time where food was not always a certainty. Whether we ate well that day or not was dependent on whether there was food to pick or animals we could kill.
Most animals have some type of trait that allows them to survive and defend themselves. Whether that be their ability to run quickly, big teeth or big tusks to defend themselves or their size as an advantage. Humans beings aren’t the fastest, strongest, biggest or smallest. We don’t have large teeth and we don’t have incredible sight, smell or hearing. What we do have is a big brain and an opposable thumb. With these two advantages we are able to create weapons for hunting and defending ourselves. As well as everything else we have created since.
Like all animals our primary goal here on this planet seems to be to survive long enough to procreate. Honestly if you’re looking for a meaning of life, that’s pretty much it in a nutshell. The reason why, that’s it is a much larger question for another blog entry altogether. That begins to wander into the religious. But even Christians know that God’s initial directive to man was “Go forth and multiply.”
So know that we understand that our primary goal here is procreation and the goal of surviving long enough to do it, lets look at how we go about it.
A mans primary role is to provide and protect. This means going out and finding food either by picking it off of trees and bushes, fishing or hunting for prey. Because of this the male physical body was built for hunting and gathering. Stronger, larger muscles are provided to run faster, deliver killing blows. A man also has grows more body hair because he is exposed to the elements more. His facial and body hair are used for protection.
The role of the female is to carry and care for the child(ren). As a result females are built with wider hips for birthing children. This wider hips also store extra nutrients for when food supplies are low and she is pregnant with child. As a bonus these wider hips also help her to carry the child by offloading some of the childs weight from her arms to her hip. A females breasts are used for nursing. Because of the fact that female need to provide nutrients to the child when pregnant, her body has more fat than a mans. But she counters this by having smaller muscles that require less protein, a smaller brain and usually a shorter average height.
A female is not built for hunting. Her breasts and smaller muscles make it more difficult for running and delivering killer blows to her prey. As such men and women compliment each other. As the purpose of one is the carry and raise the child and the purpose of the other is to provide and protect for the mother and child.
Men protect women for a couple of reasons. Instictually men know that women are physically less capable of hunting and defending. Especially when pregnant. A females facial features also tend to be softer to make them look more child-like so that men will care for them. They lack facial hair as a result of this, so they can appear younger and more child-like to men. But the lack of facial hair also plays a role in expressing themselves to infants. Infants react to facial features and when that face is covered in hair it is harder to see those features.
As it is the female that carries the child, it is also the female that tends to most identify with that child, having had it inside of her for 9 months. A woman knows the child is hers. It is unquestionable. However for a man, there is always a question. If his female was penetrated by another man there is a possibility that the child may not be his. The mans purpose, like the womans purpose, is to pass along his genetics by way of offspring. A man prefers to provide and protect his own offspring over that of another mans. As a result a mans jealousy toward a woman has to do with her unfaithfulness. Even in the modern day when a guy finds out his girlfriend has been hanging out with another guy his first question is “did you sleep with him?” Looking back through history you can see that this motivation is also the same reason that women have been treated as objects and were not granted the same rights in most societies that men were given. The mans primal role is to protect her from prey, that includes other men.
It’s his role to make sure her offspring are his and only his.
In contrast because women know their child is their own, females didn’t develop jealousy in the same way. For a female in the primal world, her role was to make sure her and her children were being provided for. If she felt that another women was gaining her males attention she would become jealous as a result of fear that he would stop providing and protecting her and her offspring and instead focus his resources on the other woman. As a result females feared a males emotional unfaithfulness more then his physical unfaithfulness. Which is the reason that women ask the question “do you love her?”
For a female, she is capable to carrying one child from one man at a time. Unless of course they are twins or such. But even if this is the case, they come from the same man. Because a female takes nine to ten months grow a child inside of her, the amount of possible children she is capable of having in her lifetime is limited. This makes each and every child very special to her. As a result, females tend to be more guarded about who they select to have a child with. It is a larger investment for a females and she wants to make sure she is making the right choice. She also wants to make sure that the man she selects will stick around and help provide and protect her and her offspring. At it’s core this is the reason why females, although they higher enjoy sex, have a tendency to be more reserved about sex then males are. This is also why females don’t feel the need to be with a lot of men sexually, or multiple men at the same time or for that matter view pornography in the same way men do. Their primary sexual motivations are not the same as they can only be pregnant from one man at a time and generally prefer to be pregnant from the same man so as not to complicate things.
Men on the other hand have less at stake in the primal world. Their sperm is nearly limitless and even into their older age they are capable of impregnating women. Because an mans sperm is nearly limitless and not as high value as a females limited eggs, men are much more liberal sexually. They have less to lose, they aren’t carrying the child for nine months themselves and as a result they take more chances. They are capable of spreading their seed to a wider variety of women and as a result can impregnate more women. So whereas a women can only be pregnant with one mans seed, one mans seed can impregnate multiple women.
The result is that men can potentially bare more children in his lifetime then a single woman can. However females are more likely to have at least one child in their lifetime, whereas many men go childless as they are seen as unsuitable to the females who tend to be pickier as they have to be.
It is because of the mans ability to spread his seed to multiple women that some men fear commitment. Their commitment to one women means that they are limiting their potential of offspring to the amount of offspring that one woman is capable of producing. This is a gamble for a man. Because if the man stay commited he is pretty much guaranteed offspring (so long as his female was not unfaithful) but should he leave her to wander out and find other females, he may find himself either unsuccessful and childless or possibly very successful.
So ladies, if you want to know why your boyfriends hem and haw about commitment or marriage, understand that their indecision is underlined by their primal thought process. If they could truly have it their way, they would have a committed and faithful wife who they are guaranteed children with, as well as the option to sleep with other women if they can find others that will. All of this inspired in their primal mind by their desire to spread their seed. Even if their modern mind is only wanting the sex.
This is also where pornography and male fantasies of a threesome with two women come into play. It’s not as important to most females as it is not part of her sexual and biological directive. However it is part of a mans.
This is also the reason that women throughout history have have made themselves look pretty by wearing nice clothes and makeup and doing their hair in most societies. This is to try and keep their men. It’s their goal to try and make sure their men stick around to provide for them and their children. This is also the reason why many women prefer a wealthy and successful man. he who can provide more will attract more women. Especially on the plains of Africa when a woman is starving and in need of protection and one man has all the food and protection she needs. She is more likely to accept him as her sexual partner knowing he can provide for her and her offspring.
Once you understand the primal motivations of men and women in this way, everything begins to fall in line. Our actions and our emotions begin to make sense. We haven’t changed much since our days on the plains of Africa hunting, gathering and trying to survive and procreate. Trying to pass our genetic material along to the next generation. Everything else in life has spawned from all of this. Be it men going to war over land and power which result in resources and women. To modern day fashion and the reason they make all the makeup and fancy clothing for females. It’s also the reason men are more likely to watch porn and women are more likely to read romance novels.
Thanks for reading. Just so you understand these aren’t my opinions. Once again this is just a snapshot of certain evolutionary psychology studies rephrased and presented here by me. If you have any questions or anything you want me to expand upon, leave me a comment. I’m bound to write more like this in the future.