My friend Steve is getting married July 4th. Steve and I have been nearly best friends for 15 years now. But I won’t be at his wedding. Here’s why.
I live in Detroit. Steve has never been a big fan of Detroit. He’s always wanted to leave the state. Several years ago he moved to Hawaii for a teaching job and I wasn’t sure if he’d ever com e back. Seven months later he moved back to Michigan. But since he moved back our friendsship had been different. I was ina serious relationship with two kids and not alot of time or money to hang out. He only had a girlfriend and was renting a house. We didn’t see each other much for whatever reason.
Then a coupel of years ago he moved down to Maryland for a teaching job and he’s been there since. We’ve talked on the phone maybe twice a year and not for more then a half an hour. He’s come back in town a few times a year and ever time he does it’s only for maybe a weekend in which most of his time is spent with his family ‘understandable) but then he’ll get together with his friends (a big group of us) for a night. During which I maybe get to talk to him for about a half an hour tops. It’s not at all like it was when we were in high school hanging out together every day after school for hours on end making movies together. or even when he wnet to college and we would get together once a month or two and hang out all weekend together making movies or whatever.
I feel like I don’t know the guy anymore. We don’t even email each other. He doesn’t update his facebook or have a twitter or xanga account, so I hardly even know what’s going on in his life anymore. It feels like we aren’t even really friends anymore. When I do talk to him it seems a little awkward.
So know he’s getting married, to a girl I’ve only met a couple of times and don’t even really know. His wedding is in southeast Ohio where her parents live. A good four+ hour drive for me. I’ve had a lot going on in my life lately. Money has been more then tight. I had to buy a new car because my old one died. I have a ticket I have to pay by July 8th, insurance, rent, child support, car payment, cell, ect. There is no way I can drive down there, pay for gas, hotel and wedding gift to attend his wedding. Most of my friends however are going and my friend Dan is absolutely pissed at me for not going. Even more then Steve. But then Steve kinda expected I wouldn’t be there from the start, which is why he told Dan he didn’t even ask me to stand up in the wedding. That kinda pissed me off to begin with. If he doesn’t have faith in me to be there to stand up in his wedding, why should I go down there afterall and pay out all of that to be there?
I’m still planning on sending hima gift later on in the month when I get some money I can spend.
I feel really bad I can’t make it down there, but I don’t know what else I can do. It’s pretty much me saying ‘goodbye” once and for all to a good friend of mine I’ve had for 15 years now. Granted we’ve been growing apart for a number of years now, but this is like the string being cut. Not to mention my friend Dan, being pissed off at me about this and who will probably be pissed off at me about this for a long time. It could very well ruin my friendship with him and I’ve know him just as long as Steve.
Back in high school we were all like brothers. Now, things are way different and part of it really is my fault.