Nobody wants to be the sucker in a relationship. Nobody wants to find out that for the last (insert period of time) their significant other has been cheating on them behind their back.
This happened to me the last several months when I was married. I should have spotted it. I should have realized when she complained and told me she didn’t like talking on the phone when I was in the room. I should have realized that she only cared about that when she was on the phone with her guy friend. A guy that for six years was one of my best friends .
Maybe I did secretly know, I just didn’t care enough.
Still after that whole ordeal I told myself I was never going to be the sucker again. I wasn’t going to be that asshole whole settled down into a family life with some girl only to find out later she was having her fun on the side. If anything I wanted to be that “other guy.” But then I started thinking about that other guy. Is his life really all the great? Yeah he might get laid every so often from some girl who cheats on her guy. But is he missing out on a meaningful relationship? What happens if he ever finds one? Is he going to realize just what an asshole he was? Will he end up being the sucker himself?
What spawned this post is that I just finished watching the movie “The Hangover.” That one character who has that bitch of girlfriend who cheated on him with that bartender on a cruise really got me thinking. This guy keeps making excuses for her. Even going so far as to say “at least he didn’t cum inside of her” to which his friend responds “do you really believe that” or something along those lines.
I think there is something inside all of us guys (and I’m sure girls too) that really bothers us about this shit. On one hand we’re told by these women in our lives that we should be good steady providers who get married and have kids and never sway. But then we hear these stories about lonely and bored housewives who go and fuck the dangerous loner types for a lark. Because this guy that they married and that they groomed into being steady and responsible is no fun anymore. Between that and our desire to stick our dicks in every hot piece of tail, it’s no wonder guys are classically so hesitant to want to accept marriage, mortgage, two kids and a dog.
Yet deep inside most of us are good guys. Most of us do want a loving caring and steady relationship. Most of us do want what women want. We just don’t want to wake up one day having realized we’ve let so much nice tail go by and wonder why considering that now we know our wife has been banging the guy who was just supposed to be an old friend.
But yet we take the chance. We’ve got the balls enough to risk being the sucker because the reward is great if it turns out we aren’t. Because even we realize that in the long run, the other guy is really just an asshole. Somebody who doesn’t have the balls or the capacity to settle down and take that risk.
So who’s really the sucker?