When you really think about myth and folklore there is some really strange stuff. Santa Clause being a perfect example. If you really think about the story it’s completely wacky. So I’ve decided that as an exercise I would come up with a myth of my own. I’ve already gotten some input from Josh. If you’d like to add onto it please do so in the comments.
I know of a story about Billie Jo Kink (BJ Kink) a transvestite who rides a flying elephant named Binky through space. Billie and Binky collect condoms floating around the condom ring of Uranus and deliver them to people on the eve of spring. Binky also speaks with the voice of Barry White. The condoms are made on Uranus by rubber trees who sing and dance showtunes while manufacturing.
Billie Jo Kink keeps a list of who is kinky and who is not and distributes more condoms and even some other kinky gifts to those who are more open minded about sex.
It’s tradition to hang a pair of your underwear from your bedroom door knob so Billie Jo Kink can leave you condoms and other little gifts.
If you also hang someone else’s underwear you’ll get even more.
You don’t need to visit a mall or sit on someones lap to ask for gifts. Although sitting on someones lap is never looked down upon by Billie Jo Kink. But if you have something specific you want (like ultra thin of ribbed condoms) you should masturbate while singing “I’m a little tea cup” and then proceed with your order. Billie Jo hears and sees everything kinky.
Symbolism and Reference
1. The character of Billie Jo Kink is a representation of all genders and sexuality as a whole. A happy and likable character that promotes sexuality, safe sex and sexual fantasy.
2. Binky being an elephant is a representation of a phallic symbol (the trunk) as well as the phrase “an elephant in the room”. Referring to society is obsessed with sex yet also treats it as a “you shouldn’t talk about it” kind of thing.
3. Binky’s voice being that of Barry White is representative of Barry White’s voice as a sexual aphrodisiac.
4. Distributing condoms is representative of condoms helping to promote safe sex in general.
5. The planet Uranus surrounded by a ring of condoms is obviously a symbol for back door lovin’.
6. Hanging underwear from your door knob is sort of like hanging a sock or a “do not disturb” sign signaling that you’re getting busy. But by being a pair of underwear it’s much more blatant. Which is part of what Billie Jo Kink’s goal is, which is to make sex and sexual fantasy more aware.
7. The idea of all of this happening on the eve of spring is in reference to mating. With Billie Jo Kink not trying to demonize sex but promote it positively.
After thinking about it, we don’t really have a sex based holiday. We sort of bastardize other holidays into sexual themes. Valentines day and Sweetest day are representative of Love more then anything. Halloween has become sexualized through costumes. But overall we don’t have a holiday based entirely on sex. Be kinda neat if we did.