Roxics the filmmaker

I’m beat. Beat red. Ashamed of what I said. I’m sorry. I know I’m a sinner but I can’t say no.
Tonight I’m down on my knees.
Tonight I’m begging you please.
Random Weezer lyrics for the hell of it. Onto the post.

From age 12 to age 25ish I dreamt of being a filmmaker more than anything else in life. That was my goal. I didn’t just dream it. I did it. I made several short films and directed my first feature film at age 24. A cast and crew of thirty people on location over the course of three months. The premiere of the film at the theater was sold out with people coming off the street to see it. We sold a limited number of DVD’s and made our money back on the film. That’s more than most indie filmmakers can say.

After that I made one more short film in 2005 and since then, nothing. That’s right. Nothing!!!

So what happened?
I lost interest.
How does this happen? How does one spend more than half their life pursuing a single dream, find some personal success and then just give up?
I don’t know if I can answer that. Because honestly I don’t know what changed. I just lost interest. Other things have become important to me and film is not one of them. Of course this could change. But so far it has not. It’s been six years now.

Have you ever given up on a dream?

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0 thoughts on “Roxics the filmmaker

  1. Sometimes things change, life changes, you change.  A person can experience many personality changes in their twenties…  I know I’ve changed a lot.  Not so much in my core beliefs but in other things.

    Many of my dreams are on hold.  Some I’ve already attained.  Others I’m just starting to work toward.

  2. i gave up on becoming a photographer. here i am, stuck in a stale-boring office fifty hours a week. what a waste of life.

    i would like to see one of your films. you can still pick it up though, your dream.

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