Aside from the “cheating is wrong no matter which way you look at it” point of view, which I completely agree with. Which would you rather find out
A. That your man has cheated on you with another woman
or
B. That your man has cheated on you with another man.
bwah, woman. if it was a woman at least that way I would know that while yes, he is a cheating scumbag, at least there was a chance that at one point the relationship wasn’t a lie and that he does like boobs.
@The_Tudor_Rose – Fair enough, but what if he’s bisexual and his excuse is “I love being with you, but sexually you can’t give me the same thing a man can, likewise the guy I cheated on you with can’t give me the same thing sexually that you can.”
@roxics – the only thing I couldn’t give him would be a cock up his ass, and if he wants that so badly, thats what toys are for. If you love someone enough, you’ll try just about anything with them. However, I’m not sure if I love my beau that much to throw a strap on, but if that was the case, I’d consider it.
@The_Tudor_Rose – I see where you’re coming from, but at the same time I would debate that to some degree. Is the only thing that makes your man different to you than a women the fact that he has a penis?
Honestly that’s a tough one. I just found out that my ex boyfriend was cheating on me for quite a long time with another girl, but I think it would have hurt just as much in almost the same way if it had been a guy.
After my first boyfriend and I broke up, he only hooked up with guys for a while, which was just as bad as if he had immediately started hooking up with other girls. It didn’t hurt because it was guys; it hurt because he was going right out to try and fill the void, gender being a complete non-issue.
Meh, they’re about the same. I wouldn’t necessarily feel like the relationship was any more or less of a lie if he had cheated with one sex over the other. If I absolutely had to pick though, I’d probably say it would be better if I found out he had cheated with a guy. Then I’d know it wasn’t just because some woman had a better body or a prettier face than me.
@AnonymousBlonde – That’s an interesting perspective. So although you would be devastated either way, you’d feel that another man would hurt your sense of confidence less. Interesting.
@roxics – HA! Clearly you don’t read my blog lol. I sometimes think my boyfriend has a bigger vagina than I do. I see a relationship is divided into 2 parts, physical and emotional. A woman could give me all the emotional comfort and care that a man can, but physically without the assistance of toys, she couldn’t give me what a man can. Sure, boobs are involved, but as a woman who doesn’t have a large chest, I don’t see them as being a big deal. Other than our bodies, sometimes I just don’t see a huge difference. We all find a way to fit in someone’s life one way or another, no matter who wears the pants, is the bread winner, the strong one with the shoulder to cry on.
So, to me, the physical body parts would be the big difference. He could get the same emotional comfot that he was missing form a man or a woman, it would just e if he was attracted to the same or opposite sex that would make the difference. if someone is cheating, clearly something is missing.
@roxics – Mostly because it’s harder to compare what a man has vs what a woman has. Everything that other woman has, I could theoretically also possess, therefore leading me to the comparative nightmare of what I am/was lacking in the relationship. Men are different from women, therefore it seems harder to realistically say that everything that man had, I could also have.
I’d say another woman. I think it would hurt more because to me it would feel like he cheated because I wasn’t good enough, but if he cheated with a man it was because he liked men and not that I wasn’t able to satisfy him.
@Btrfly_Wngs – Yeah, I’ve to agree.
xo
B. Because I’m pretty sure I’d know who the guy was. If my boyfriend were to go gay (or bi) for him and leave me, I’d be okay with it. They’d make a great couple, and this gay friend of ours is a really great guy.
For reasons of STD’s, with a man would be the worst. That is just simple statistics
For the reason of me not being good enough for him, a woman would be the worst. It is not as if I have what it takes to make a gay man happy. So emotionally it be worse if he cheated with a woman (what did I do wrong)
I have been cheated on with a woman. I can say equally neither. I don’t think either would be worse. It would kill me either way.
I would rather find out that he cheated with a man, because, I am not a man and wouldnt be able to satisfy those types of urges.
I would be pissed either way really but more understanding if it was with a dude.
tough question! if it was with another girl, it would indicate that he either was not particularly in love with me (and was apparently lying about it) for which i would end the relationship, or that there were some other issues that i would then consider working out, depending on how pissed i was or what the issues were.
if it was with another guy, well then I guess that would indicate that he was not particularly in love with me, and he didn’t like girls exclusively. I’d like to think that i’d be able to tell that my SO was possibly bisexual, or not interested in me sexually before it got to that point.
note though, that both first indicators are “he’s was not particularly in love with me,” and I think it would take me a while to get past THAT pain before i moved on to whatever his other issues were. so yeah, i think they’d hurt about the same.
i’d rather it was a girl. if he was cheating with a guy, and he told me he’s straight, then that’s just lying, and i’ve already done the linda porter thing, and it’s no fun. if he’s bisexual, and i knew he was bi, then he’s just a cheating asshole, gender regardless. if it’s a girl, i know that he saw something in me, and despite the fact that he’s a cheating asshole, everything about our hypothetical relatinoship was not a lie. besides, there’s nothing like dating a gay guy for six months to make you feel like an idiot. I talk from experience.
Girl ’cause at least then, there’d be a slight chance of salvaging the relationship. I mean, I don’t have a penis, so there’d be no way to work that one out.
With a girl, we could figure out what’s going on and fix it [hopefully].
@Imnotcrazyjustinsane – Guys don’t usually cheat because there is something wrong with the relationship silly. :) Guys usually cheat just because it’s there. Variety.
@roxics – Wait, I can’t really tell if you’re serious or not. If that’s the case, then I’d rather him cheat on me with a guy ’cause after that, I’ll stop worrying about it.
@The_Tudor_Rose – I agree with you.
But to anwer the question I’d be equally hurt because I couldn’t fill his need.
I enjoy trying new things in the bedroom so if he wanted me a sport a strap on why not? And really if I love the person than I will want to please them no? I’d always wondered what it be like reversed. I’ll be the “man”.
Mmmm… man. If it was a woman, he’d be a douche for not working on our issues and looking for comfort elsewhere. If it were a man, well, then he probably tried very hard to commit but simply was not capable of it. Then again, either way you should cut the cord before you move on to someone else, man or woman…
hmmm… that’s kind of a toughy, considering… I sort of think that both are equally wrong, only on the foundation of cheating’s definition. Let me elaborate:
Cheating on someone means you have sexual experiences outside said relationship (without permission; Threesomes, etc…)
So because of this definition, I feel that if my boyfriend were to cheat on me with a woman or man, I would feel equally betrayed. I would hope that our relationship is open and honest enough to the point of communication. If he felt he needed the male experience, then I would be o.k as long as it’s agreed on and there are no lines of infidelity crossed (doing it behind my back or by himself).
man.
because if he cheated on me with another woman, it would hurt a hell of a lot more. I’d feel used, thrown out, worthless, etc. If it was a man, I’d feel disgusted, but it would hurt less. There’s just something about cheating with another woman that would make me want to kill him AND the bitch
It would hurt tremendously if I found out about both, but i’d would be more devastated if it was with a man.
man. totally.
first it would be easier to take in and not hurt so much, but also be wired because you wonder if he has been like that the whole time. but well a woman would be easier because you might be able to work it out but if it was a man you can’t so i would have to say bothh…
Another man.
I’m more likely to compare myself to another woman and come out of it feeling inadequate. At least that some of the activities he’s doing with the guy aren’t things I can easily/effectively replicate anyways.
@AnonymousBlonde – Exactly.
another woman, because then at least i have the chance to stab him in the heart back. idk. i prefer it, because if it’s another dude then..well fuck, i never had a chance did i?