OkCupid Sucks!

Honestly I’ve never gotten any messages or any replies. What am I doing wrong?
Maybe you can take a look at my profile and tell me.


It’s been months and nothing…. nothing.

I’m happy to get all the “you’re hot” and such comments on xanga. Really I appreciated it. But it doesn’t seem to ever carry over to any other part of my real life or any other website/dating site. Why is that? Am I not an interesting person? I’m I just not someone most would consider hooking up with? What’s the deal?

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0 thoughts on “OkCupid Sucks!

  1. Okcupid is a waste of time.

    I tried it, but didn’t find anyone I was interested in.

    I mainly got messages from men, even after clearly stating that I was only interested in women.

  2. I just looked at your profile and I have no clue as to what you’re doing wrong. It’s really easy for me to get messages and responses on there. I’m assuming it’s because I’m a girl. The only thing I hate is that I’m not interested in most of the guys that message me, but when I take it into my own hands and message a guy I like he doesn’t respond. 

  3. @JESthemess – Yeah that seems to be the case on every dating site. When we launch SM it will come with dating tools built in. One of those tools will be the ability to shut off messages from specified gender. 

    @SimplyNita – Yeah women get messages like crazy. It’s just like real life. A girl can go to a bar and get hit on by different guys all night. A guy can go to the bar and not get hit on for months or years straight. More women need to be more forward. 

  4. That site does suck.  I’m guessing you haven’t had much response because there aren’t a lot of girls on there that would be willing to jump into a threesome, not because you’re necessarily doing something wrong.  No matter how many girls claim to be “bisexual” or “sexually open” very few actually are.

    Also, and this is purely just a guess, but because you say you have a girlfriend, it’s closing you off to the female population.  I know it’s an important part of the equation that this new girl is supposed to be a sexual play thing for the two of you, but girls want to know they’re special, period.  By saying you already have an established connection with someone, you’re making an effective cock-block at additional pussy.  Just a guess, though.

  5. So. I don’t really know anything about OK Cupid, and maybe you should also be posting on other sites like fishinthesea.   But I do have a few suggestions (I’ve been really successful on Match.com and helped my dorky cousin get dates via match.)      First, kill the main photo.  Have someone take a good photo of you. Look at your competition to see what catches the eye (usually a headshot showing shoulders).  The second photo is really nice.  Add a few sexy photos in the gallery…you look great in the hairy chest photo (even though I would trim it).

    Profile data: Way to long. Cut to the chase & chuck all the job interview stuff.  This is my suggeston (I love editing!)

    I’m looking for an attractive female to have some sexual fun with my girlfriend and me. Just the three of us. I’ve never had a threesome and it’s one of my life goals. Help me fulfill it.

    I’m a creative, entrepreurial techie. I’m laid back and  like to chill at home or with friends, but I’m looking for a [adjective]  sexy 20-something to add a new dimension to my steady hetero relationship.   I am easy going, creative, and inspired. But I can also be quiet and shy at times. I’ve had friends who have said they have never met anyone like me before. I think maybe they just don’t get out enough.

    I try to stay creative with my time:  I’m into film, clubbing (Luna is my favorite),  fairs and art festivals, reading (philosophy/science/sci-fi books), blogging (about sex, relationships and technology), and photography. I also waste time on the internet. lol   I’m a big day dreamer but I’m also somebody who gets things done.

    I love sex. But I’m not into chains and whips. [I like….and my fantasy is….].  I also love giving oral and anything else you’re into that desn’t involve pain [your words]. [I trimmed the oral because a lot of girls feel oral is more intimate than vaginal sex].

    Good luck.

  6. @musterion99 – Indeed there are. The numbers only get smaller as I get older as well since most girls have that experimental period in their teens and early twenties.

    @AnonymousBlonde – Therein lies the problem. If I say I don’t have a girlfriend I’m a liar. If I say I do, they just think I’m a creep.

    @nyfemme – I’ve gotten several compliments on that photo, even my own girlfriend thought it was hot. It is an amateur photo. But that’s what I was going for. I am a professional photographer. That’s how I make my living. So I am capable of better. But I don’t want to come off looking too out of touch. But I can try a better photo. I don’t want to do anything semi-nude though because then I get labeled as a douche or a creep.

    As for your body copy. I’m willing to give it a shot.

  7. @aqua_aiko – You’re right. This is a correction that has to be made. Though to be honest I originally signed up for okcupid to do a little black ops research for our upcoming social network dating toolset. 

  8. @roxics – woopS!  I think I said that wrong…a photo can be terrific, artsy as hell and even ground breaking, but you’re advertising you — what you would look like up front, talking to at a bar or just about to kiss — not your photography talents.  So….sorry..   But you have all the “raw” stuff there. 

    And just a thought — How ’bout flying to ny for a weekend here and there: http://newyork.timeout.com/sex-dating/49160/best-swingers-clubs 

  9. My friend used that site and had a lot of success, I remember he had it on his phone one day and showed me all the different girls he was in contact with and I scanned them and chose my favorite. I’m at school so I didn’t click the link but do you get out there and search for people/interact too or do you just wait for people to come to you? I’m not sure how it works I guess.

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