Upon checking my google voice inbox I found a voicemail from my ex wife about my son. When seeing her name it occurred to me how strange it is that she is still using my last name, even though we’ve been divorced for a year now.
Of course one of her excuses for even wanting to get married to begin with was because she said “I would like to have the same last name as at least one of my children.” Thinking about it that makes her look kinda trashy as if she has all kinds of kids with all different fathers and last names, but there is only one other. It’s a legitimate excuse all the same.
My girlfriend also still carries the surname of her ex husband for whom she has been divorced from for nearly two years. Her excuse is that her maiden name was too plain and people never believed whether what she was telling them was her real name. With a maiden name like “Smith” I can’t say I disagree with her.
Still all of this has me wondering whether it’s proper or not for someone to keep their ex’s last name even after they’ve divorced. Perhaps proper isn’t the right word, maybe “tacky” is more like it.
I think that if I were to get married again I’m not sure I would not to marry someones “ex” so much as marry a maiden. In the sense of last names that is. I know it’s probably silly and irrelevant thinking. But it does bother me sometimes to know my girlfriend still carries around the weight of her ex by continuing to use his last name. It’s almost as if in some way they are still connected. With my ex it’s a little different since she does in fact have a child with my last name, so it probably makes things a little easier for her in some ways. But I still find it odd to see her attached to my last name even if we are no longer attached to each other. But I can sort of pass the thought off if I think about it another way and say “she’s not attached to my last name, she’s attached to my(her) sons last name.”
I think the ultimate insult for anyone would be if some woman who was married and had taken her first husbands surname and kept it after divorce, decided to either keep her it going into the new marriage or hyphenate it with her new husbands surname. As the new husband I would take that as a great insult. But then I’m a little old fashioned and would take it as an insult for any woman I married to not fully and completely take my last name over any name, including her maiden name.
What are your thoughts on all of this?