I’m going to be 30 years old this February forth. Where does the time go? I feel like my twenties just flew by. I feel like I wasted them. I made my first feature film at age 24. I was 25 when Gabe was born and thrown into the whole family man scenario, in a relationship with a bitch which ended only last year. Time wasted. I never went to college, aside from community college for a few classes. I’ve spent all my time working and doing god knows what.
This birthday is really hitting me hard. I don’t want to be done with my twenties. I don’t want to grow up. I want to be young and have fun. But I see all these college kids these days and I feel so old compared to them. Makes me wonder how I should act. I feel like I acted like I was in my thirties when I was in my twenties. Now that I’m approaching thirty quickly I want to be in my twenties again. I want to go to parties and play beer pong and run around in my underwear on campus and live in a coed dorm and do all the things I never got to do because I never went to college when I should have.
But then part of me knows I never could now, that I would feel like an idiot for acting that way. I just feel like life is pushing me to settle down and something inside me doesn’t want to. I want to rage out and be young again. I want to hold onto my twenties.
Can thirty be the new twenty? Can we all agree on this?