Speaking of marriages and divorce and relationships in general. How much is too much time spent together?
I’ve have guy friends I have been friends with for about 17 years. Since high school. We’re still the best of buddies. We have disagreements and arguments and good times together. But we also don’t see each other every single day. We don’t call each other every night. Nor do we tell each other who we are allowed and not allowed to hang out with and when. As a result, we’ve been best friends for all those years.
In contrast, my longest relationship was about 6 years. The last three of which felt like a ghost of a relationship. We were bored with each other. We saw each other every day, knew everything about each other and what the other one was doing. Everything was locked down. I felt like I couldn’t even glance at another woman on the street without getting the stink eye.
We ended up in divorce and it was a relief.
Yet we continue to put ourselves into these kinds of relationships. They end up becoming more work than pleasure because of what is expected of us. Those expectations become burdons after a while and eventually we snap and the relationship ends. It doesn’t matter how good we were, that we never cheated or never lied. We lost the passion because we over saturated ourselves with each other. Like eating the same meal every night. Eventually, no matter how much work you put into trying to enjoy it, you lose the taste for it.
“Even lovers need a holiday” – Peter Cetera (Chicago)
But is a holiday enough? Or even a girls/guys night once a week? That still leaves six days of the same thing over and over again broken up only by a day or so here and there. In contrast I’ve gone weeks or ever months between seeing my best friends. We may talk once every week or two. But when we get back together it’s as if there was no gap in time at all. Perhaps this is too long for a relationship, but where is the happy medium?
What is too much and too little time spent together?