0 thoughts on “How are ya?

  1. I’m okay, and yet I’m wretched in the same breath.
    My life is wonderful, but I’m falling appart at the seams.
    I wake up in the morning excited about the day.
    But, I want to go back to bed a few hours later.
    I sleep alot, but I don’t feel depressed.
    I’m a sick human being inside…
    But I’m perfectly healthy…

    I always tell people don’t ask… unless you want an honest answer. :(

  2. @roxics – I think so… but ups and downs are occuring, some more so than others. Yesterday was horrific. The day before was a dream. And monday was off the wall weird.

    Regardless of this cycle of life, how are you? And really now, be honest.

  3. @Kampj – @Winsa – The world is a stage and we’re here to tell a story. If there were no ups and downs, no irrational behavior or mood swings, we’d all be the same and the story would be a bore. 

    Honestly I’ve been the same. I’ve struggled with anxiety for 10 years now since the last time I smoked pot and a switch went off in my head that changed me forever. It comes and goes in phases. I’ve learned to control it over the years. But lately it’s been difficult keeping myself together. My father died four years ago March 12th and last month, February 1st I walked into my moms house to find her lying on the floor, she had a stroke. She’s been in the hospital recovering since then but whether she’ll ever be the same, who knows? On top of all of that I’ve been struggling to get our social network built with my partner who has little time to put into it. I’ve ben trying to come up with alternative income sources, even partnering with a few friends to shoot wedding videos. But that hasn’t taken off yet either. 
    On the plus side, things are good with my son, my day job is going well and my video resume keeps getting longer. I’ve shot (camera) nearly every mayor in Michigan now. I’m trying to learn PHP programming and I’ve been slowly but surely writing a new feature film script. My girlfriend and I are having great sex and romantic evenings and spring is coming!  

  4. @roxics – I like the last bit ;) I am also a writer, and have taken on (at least mentally, and am now doing research for more) a film script. It’s been difficult, but I’m managing it, even though I’m trying to get one of my novels published and work on four more *bites nails*

    I’m terribly sorry about your loss… I too struggle with anxiety. Horribly. I find that a lot of creative people do. Because we’re slightly insane I think. I don’t mean dangerously so, but we feel, and think and picture and envision so damn much that it’s maddening. We can’t keep up with the characters in our heads, or the plots, or the perfect picture, or the set up of an amazing scene, or the music that we can’t write down that plays to that scene, or the “I love yous” or the “Fuck offs”… After a while, you start to feel like there’s a war, and it’s in your own HEAD… you become entranced with everything that you yourself are doing, and totally lose yourself for hours in that creative genius that is YOU… I’d say God given, who knows what you’d call it… Hours in front of the computer, or behind the camera… But wait… I have to eat something soon…

  5. @Kampj – Nope, haven’t done Jackson. Pretty neat you were born there. Been through there many times though.

    @Winsa –  Very true. Sometimes you just have to step back and focus on other people. Selflessness is the only thing that can save you from yourself. It takes the focus off of what is going on in your own head. 

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