Flirting on the internet

What is your view of flirting on the internet?

I’ve never been one to do it a lot. But I also don’t flirt a lot in real life. I’m one of those guys that is kind of shy and low spoken. I’m not a loud party animal type. I don’t just speak for the sake of saying something. I’m the type to stay quiet and listen, but when I have something to say I’m very opinionated. I’m also the type that gets a wild hair up my ass every so often and does something that is outspoken. It’s just not often.

So when my girlfriend told me she had snooped through my xanga messages and found a message I had sent to a random girl telling her I liked her pic, I really didn’t know what to say. Yeah, I sent the message. Yeah I was being flirtatious. I didn’t think it was a big deal. Never intended it to go anywhere.

I think my girlfriend thinks I’m only one step away from cheating on her at any given moment. I’ve never cheated on anyone. I’ve only had a single one night stand in my entire life. It seems every girl I have sex with wants to get into a relationship with me. Generally the reason I’m even having sex with them is because I want the same thing.

So as for flirting, I’ll be honest, it’s not common. But there is a certain sense of separation on the internet. You know nothing is going to happen, there is no chance. It’s totally different then flirting in person with someone. Not just that but for once in my life women seem to actually like me. Throughout most of my life, while I have had a steady stream of girlfriends and long term relationships, I always felt like women didn’t really like me in that way. Now I don’t know if I was just blind before or if I was really unattractive.

Xanga more then any other website seems to be filled with a lot of women, many of which respond well to me. So if I be a little flirtatious for the fun of it, is it really a problem?
Yeah probably. Because if it hurts my girlfriend it’s not worth it.

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0 thoughts on “Flirting on the internet

  1. I dont think much of internet flirtation either. I don’t do it often, and sometimes i think my niceness and jokes are taken way too far in the wrong way, but when i do flirt with someone they know it…they don’t have to guess.

    If it bothers your girl, then maybe its not such a good idea. If you think its because of her insecurities talk to her! (you could do this talking with chocolate and flowers too!) hehe.

  2. That is pretty stupid she went through your messages.. Why is it any of her business? If you were really going to cheat on her does she think you’d msg someone online? That is really weird if ya ask me. But atleast you are being careful of her feelings I guess.

  3. Online no, in real life, yes. My wife also got onto my xanga once when I got up and forgot to logoff. She was surprised that so many women were my friends, but the ratio is something like women 90% men 10%. So what can you do.

  4. On one hand, I understand your girlfriend being jealous or feeling insecure now that she read that email, but it wasnt her place to snoop in the first place.
    Just reassure her that you didnt mean anything by it and you love her. Hopefulyl she will understand and forgive  you- and let her know she needs to respect your privacy as well!

  5. I think your girlfriend needs to be a little bit more trusting. I think its BS she would do something like that because she has thoughts about you cheating. Especially if you have never cheated on anyone… its ridiculous.

    Being flirty has nothing to do with cheating and your girlfriend needs to realize that you two are together and plan to stay together. Smack that into her head or something… she needs to learn.

  6. I guess I’m a little bit flirtatious, myself, but I try to keep it in check because I don’t want to give the wrong impression.  I especially don’t want my boyfriend to think I’m planning on pursuing these people… because I’m not.  I’m just playful and speak my mind.

    I can understand why your girlfriend isn’t comfortable with flirting.  However, a bit of insecurity on her part shouldn’t be grounds for accusing you of one-step-away-from-cheating.  That seems like an unwarranted mental leap to me.

  7. I knew it was wrong.  I felt horribly guilty for doing it and I never have done it before.  Honestly, I felt I was more mature than that, but with the way the weekend was going, the thoughts were too overwhelming. 

    @roxics –  I trust you more than anyone in the world!  Sometimes I get a little crazy, but you know why.  It really is nothing personal and I know you wouldn’t cheat on me.  I wrote a blog about it too… maybe you should check it out.

    @methodElevated – What I’m thinking is I have never been treated so well before and sometimes my past rushes into my head and I get scared.  Yes I have insecurities and yes I have to deal with them.  I don’t know why I did what I did… I scared myself by doing it. 

  8. I personally think there is nothing wrong with telling someone you like their photo as long as you’re not flirting, just giving a compliment. Generally I agree with this though, “Yeah probably. Because if it hurts my girlfriend it’s not worth it. ”

    I think its really cool that you care about her enough to think about it though and to ask other’s their opinions. :)

  9. she wouldn’t have mentioned just ONE comment if she hadn’t had any thoughts about it beforehand to get her nervous in the first place.  i can’t say just talking to her once will fix it because honestly, i am a girl and i know how much it would take to get CLOSE to forgiven in my book, and just one conversation won’t do it, several will.  it will take a while, but it will calm down.

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