I wonder. I just wonder. How many people end up with each other simply because it’s there.
I see some people I’ve known for years who have obviously been dating for years. They don’t seem like they are really madly deeply in love. It seems more like they hit their thirties, they’re still together, so they both mutually decide “hey, we’re not getting any younger, we’re hitting our prime, we like each other enough to be together this long, lets just get married and have some babies.”
I mean when I put it that way it sounds really sad. But is it? Once we all get past our first true love we realize that the majority of what we realize as that passionate first “love” is really all in our head. It’s what we think it is rather then what it really is. We build the other person up in our heads to be who we want them to be rather then who they really are. Eventually we fall into a true relationship that isn’t as crazy as our first love, but it’s certainly real and honest. It may not be that Romeo and Juliet experience we thought, but we’re too mature for that now anyway.
What we have is life and love that is true companionship without the bullshit.
Then we wake up one day and realize we’ve ended up happily ever after and it’s nothing like the story books tell. In fact it might be better.
You said “once we all get past our first true love,” and sad to say, (or maybe sometimes not) we don’t all get past our first true love.
I will rec this because I think you’ve written an interesting blog here even though it goes against my thought processes as, I am, a total romantic and the idea of settling for anything less then the true grand passion, true love soul mate, does not appeal to me at all.
You have some good thoughts here. Glittering (Cinderella-type) romance is not very realistic. A happy married life takes commitment to each other and persistent work along with a really good attitude – preferably on the part of both the guy and the girl. And it’s well worth all the patience, the work, the selflessness and the sacrifice! Not to mention the dreaming! Realistic dreaming!
Thanks for your thoughtful post!
@And_I_love – right with you hon. You should read my blog… I’m about to tell this guy who I really love about my feelings for him. >.
@wishtoremainunknown – OK, I’ll check it out!
Marriage is a lifetime partnership. It really should be predicated in love – the kind that lasts through high and low waters. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Insightful post.
I married my first love.
But I think what you said does have some merit. I feel as though we’re the exception to the rule, haha – though, doesn’t everyone?
sadly, i do think there are a lot of people who just get married to get married, and that’s wrong. you shouldn’t just be with someone because they are there or you invested so much time/love on them, it seems like a waste to start with someone else.
i like this: “What we have is life and love that is true companionship without the bullshit.”because it’s so on point and real.
xo
Nice post, and it is true. I rec’d mainly because of this statement: “Then we wake up one day and realize we’ve ended up happily ever after
and it’s nothing like the story books tell. In fact it might be better.”
interestingly put….
i tend to agree with and-i-love i now wouldn’t settle for anything less than true love…. i tried marriage to a guy who wasn’t The One and it was a disaster…. always felt something was missing….
This is well said. Usually when there is no story-book ending, we tend to fall in love with that reailty and honesty more everyday.
This is true especially the part about first loves. It does become something that you make up in your head and I think initially we say or do things because we think we’re “supposed” to
I really like this. Bravo.
Maybe you’re right.
I really don’t know what to say…