0 thoughts on “Double Standard

  1. ex’s are a tricky tricky thing. I think it depends on the current relationship and the ex. If my beau was hanging out with his ex I’d kick his ass for the fact that she was a lying horrific bitch that stomped on his heart and broke it in many many ways, but HEY! if they had a mutual break up, it was for sure over, I was secure in the relationship, and she wasnt a huge bitch, I think I could try to accept them hanging out and catching up every once in a blue moon.

  2. @The_Tudor_Rose – You’re right when you say that exes are a tricky situation. Personally I usually break off all ties. The only exception being my ex wife and only because we have a son together. But even then we don’t hang out. I think it just adds to much complication. On top of the fact that I’ve heard too many horror stories about people cheating on people with their exes.

  3. @roxics – I would be one of those cheaters. I keep going back to Nate. I’m sure it will happen again. However, i have no regrets, because when you find out you were only a toy to one guy, the other was trying to control you life and other crazy things, when you’re treated like crap in one way or another, sometimes you just don’t care when you cheat because you leave the guy less than a week late anyway.

    I know, i’m a bad person, but at least I’m honest.

  4. @The_Tudor_Rose – About six months back I had a conversation with a guy friend over lunch. Him and I were talking about cheating and whether it was ever right. We both came to the conclusion that there are situations where it is right, even if it’s not proper.

    For instance, I was with my ex wife for a long time during which had I been approached by another girl who wanted to “do me” I would probably have given in pretty easily. I wasn’t happy with my wife and was pretty much in the relationship because I felt trapped by the fact that we had a child together and I wanted to stay together because I didn’t want him growing up in a divorced household, since I never did. My wife probably felt the same way, although we never openly discussed it. We just pretended to still be interested in each other.

    Now it would have been more noble for me to break it off with her if I actually felt that way, but the relationship and my life at the time had beaten me up so much that I didn’t think I was worth anything to anyone else, on top of how I felt about my son. I never did cheat, but I later found out that she did toward the last couple of months before it was over.

    Most people consider it more noble to break it off first and then find someone else. But I do think there are situations where people don’t realize they have an “out” until they discover that someone else is interested in them.  

  5. “”If a man gets jealous when a woman hangs out with exes, he is wrong. If a man even mentions his exes, he is wrong.””

    I agree, but need to write this in my own special way.

    If a man gets jealous…. NO.

    This means he is:
    1) Caring
    2) Protective

    If a man mentions his exes….

    Typically not an intelligent idea.

    I dislike dealing with any woman who has special connections to exes. I might be overprotective, suffocating, or [insert negative sentiment], but if I am to truly accept my significant other spending time with an ex I would have to be either dead or detached (usually how I handle it).

    Edit: That source is full of shit and can not be trusted. I will now prove my point:

    Turn on traits (Dating Section 1):

    A Sense of Humor 49%Intelligence 27%Looks 2%Strength 4%Success 18%

  6. @roxics – I would say it is an attribute of a caring person, but modern dating absolutely disgusts me with regards to the standards it establishes – ultimately making finding a suitable mate increasingly difficult, as evidenced by the divorce rate

    /end rant before it continues forever

  7. @roxics – my current boyfriend, the one who I chated on these other guys with, can wrap me around his finger and talk me out of what I’m doing. He may not be perfect, but he is better than what I was dating when he convinced me to leave. I can’t break up with people. I honestly don’t know how. I know that sounds crazy, but its true. Now I’m to the pointwhere things are so far south with my boyfriend’s effort that Im moving half way across the country, and if he wants me to stay the only way he is going to get it is by proposing. on and off for 7 years, we cry (told you he’s a girl deep down lol) and tell each other how much we miss each other, and end up back together, we should just suck it up. Work through the hard, and just stay together, because it isn’t worth all the drama of going back and forth between others.

    It is true pathetic drama.

  8. The only time I’ve ever hung out with, or really ever even contacted, any of my exes is when I’m single…and the only reason for that is sometimes it’s nice just to be held by the opposite sex without them expecting anything (since I’m not one to be a repeat offender – they are an ex for a reason).

    Personally, I think it’s a little weird if a guy doesn’t talk about his exes/past relationships AT ALL.  I don’t want to know every little detail, but knowing that you’ve had successes and failures before our relationship isn’t a bad thing.

  9. i admit, i get instantly suspicious if a guy mentions his ex girlfriends, and my friend ended a relationship because a guy was too close to his ex. i think it has something to do with self-restraint. a girl can be friends with a guy, and she will probably not sleep with him, but a guy might. it’s completly irrational and wrong, and we shouldn’t think this way, but i’ll admit to it.

  10. Jealousy is an act of pride, not love, protection, or anything.

    The only reason he’d be jealous is that he thinks that she belongs to him.  He thinks that she ought to be hanging out with him only.  If it were love, then he’d just want her to be with whomever she loves.  If it were protection, he’d be more worried and anxious than angry and suspicious.

    I think anyone being jealous is pretty wrong.

  11. I guess the “quote” is a double standard.  I think that women get jealous about the guys talking to their exes because of the “He had her once, who’s to say he won’t again” type thing.  Guys… I don’t know…  I know it’s not always true, it depends on a situation.  I can’t really express myself very well on this one!  :)

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